everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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