Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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