actually, I'm a sock model
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
