Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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