I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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