The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
