He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
