Please, let me fuck your mom
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
