i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are the jesus of drinking
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
