This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
