Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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