Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
