I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
