thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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