She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
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I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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