capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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