So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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