I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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