just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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