Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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