i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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