ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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