it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
