True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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