it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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