I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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