like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
