And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
