And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize