I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
