would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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