For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm having to shit out rocks
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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