I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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