What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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