I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
