i was born a porn star she said
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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