omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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