I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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