My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
