I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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