you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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