Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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