it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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