She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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