Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
