How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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