3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
