Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
