Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
