JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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