lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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