I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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