if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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