I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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