In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
