You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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