She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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