I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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