why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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