what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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