Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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