I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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