he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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