Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
