there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?