does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok